So is it better to have a penis? Do you control more if you do? Or does the one with the vag control the world? These questions have left me perplexed. I’m trying to understand why I was born a woman. Why couldn’t I have been a man? Would it have been easier for me to love? Would it have been easier for me to fuck? To get a job? To open more doors of opportunity?
I just think it would have been easier if I had been born a boy. I would have been able to pick who I love instead of waiting for a boy to pick me. Finding love for me when I was young was never easy. I was pretty, had big boobs, but I was curvy. Curvy was most definitely not “in” when I was young. Boys wanted a stick girl that ate a crouton, a glass of water and a tooth pick on a date. Me, I was not afraid to eat and that freaked boys out. And the girls didn’t like it either. They would look at me like I was such a pig. Fuckin’ bitches! Little did any of us realize we were all headed for severe eating disorders…. The boys however liked me for my tits. I just wanted one boy to like me for my sparkly personality. I would have loved to have a sparkly personality, and a flat chest. But nope I had to have a great personality AND huge boobs! Giggle. Of course the man I married, loved me for both. And lots of other reasons too….
I know I’m probably sharing too much about myself but I got to have a lot of sex before I was married. There were plenty of guys who wanted to do it with me just because of the boob thing. And I had such self esteem issues that I would let them. It was a way for me to feel love and/or needed. It was a way for me to get dumped too, a lot. But I soon learned that because I had the vag and the boobs I was the powerful one. Because I could have sex with a guy, or NOT. I WANTED and NEEDED that power after while. It was one thing I could control. Many of my friends didn’t understand that. They thought I was just a whore. Don’t get me wrong, I was, but I was also in control. Which is what I had always wanted!
Would I have been able to get a better job? This answer is most definitely yes! I would have been paid more too. I would have not just been looked at as a working mother, but as a viable contributor to my profession. Whatever that would have been. And if I had stayed single and had a penis I would have been paid even more. Why that is, I have no idea. What is that about? Shouldn’t the mom who has to work outside the home have been paid more? Shouldn’t we have at least made enough to pay more bills besides daycare and preschool with our pay check? Yeesh! I’ve been very lucky though. I have worked for a female boss that has been very good to me. She sees that I’m a go getter, that I want to learn more, that I want to achieve more, and that I’m smart. Even though I’ve never gotten a college degree, she has always treated me as her equal. So since I have a boss with a vag, it has given me an advantage to some extent.
I do believe those with a penis control more things. Of course, it’s apparent. In the corporate world, government, education, and so much more. I don’t see how that’s fair. Why can’t we with the vag control the world? We are the ones that give birth to the world. We renew our insides every 28 days. We can do so much more with our bodies than a man can do. Our cycles are in tune with the planet, with the tides, and so many other things in nature. I got to carry life inside me and bring it into the world. I got to nurture it, watch it grow, become adults and move on. Now that’s POWER! So after writing this entry I’ve decided I’ll keep my vag. It’s way more powerful than any dumb old penis will ever be…..