I saw this on a friends FB page and I just had to share it. I do believe Roger Darling and I will be finding it soon and posting it on a wall in our home. I do think we tried to raise our kids with these “rules”. We are the crazy, “real” family. The ones that told our kids straight up if you do something wrong you will have to suffer the consequences. But you will be able to come to mom and dad and we will do our best to help you deal with it. We knew that our kids were going to make mistakes. We knew they were going to do things to hurt themselves and us as they were growing up. But we wanted them to be able to come to us and say they screwed up. We knew they weren’t going to be angels and we knew that life would be hard for them sometimes…. We didn’t hide the world from our kids. We didn’t hide sensitive subjects, like sex and drugs. You’ve got questions, I’ve got answers. And baby if you ask me the hard questions about my past, I will NOT lie to you. They asked me all kinds of stuff, and I answered. Much to Rogs dismay sometimes. He would just look at me and ask me why I didn’t lie. And I would point blank tell him because that’s how I grew up and I was not going to raise my children that way. I sure as hell didn’t. My kids can tell me ANYTHING and I will listen and do my best to help them.
I told my daughter when she was young that she needed to speak up. That was a lesson she quickly learned. I may not have liked all the things that she had to say to me but I’m proud of the fact that she turned into such a strong, confident and smart young woman. She knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to go after it. She is a charmer. She is warm. She is beautiful. But she can be a bitch and she’s stubborn. I do believe that she got all of those qualities from me. However if I’d taught her to keep quiet, to be seen and not heard and to also fear me, she would have been a totally different person. And I would have missed out on raising such a strong daughter. She could’ve been a push over. One that let men hurt her. Or take advantage of her. Fortunately she is her own woman. Even though she is happy with the fact she wants to marry young. This I worry about, but I know she is determined.
I taught my son to be a good young man, to speak frankly, to be funny, to treat women with respect. He is insanely funny. He makes me laugh so hard I hurt and want to wet my pants. He’s incredibly smart. He must have gotten his brains from his dad! The subjects that he speaks to me about astound me. I do believe he’s going to be a politician. A democrat of course! I made sure he spoke up when he young. He was a little timid at first. A little shy. I remember him coming home from football practice in 7th grade. He looked miserable… He walked up to his dad, started crying and said he didn’t want to play. He hated it! Roger Darling just looked at him and said he didn’t have to continue. That it was okay not to play. He was not disappointed in him. Adam looked so relieved. Secretly I was thankful he didn’t want to play. Not because I was worried about him getting hit. My son is no pussy. I just liked the fact that both of my kids were into swimming and not football and cheerleading. I think I would’ve stabbed myself in the eye if they were! (I was a punk rock, stoner girl, and a singer/actor. I was shocked that my kids were both singer/actors and athletes. Thank God they weren’t stoners like their momma!)
We were the loud and funny family. I would always do something ridiculous and obnoxious in public just get my kids to laugh at me. Roger would be mortified of course. But we didn’t care. The kids and I would just tell Dad to lighten up! We’re still the loud and funny family. I like the fact that we can get into these heated conversations about politics, world issues, gas prices, wedding planning, etc. Practically knock down drag out fights and then one of us says something stupid (usually me!) and we laugh hysterically. My future son in law thinks we’re all pretty cool and he’s goofy like the rest of us, so he fits right in.
We love each other immensely. We tell each other all the time. It used to drive the kids kinda nuts when they were teenagers and I would yell out the door as they were leaving that I loved them. I just always wanted them to know I did. And this is the morbid part, just in case something happened to me and I never got to tell them again…. They had to know….
I can’t say we were the perfect parents, but Roger and I really tried our best. Our kids are 20 and 21. They are finishing up college soon. Adam already is planning for graduate school. Meg will be too but she wants to start teaching as soon as she’s done with her Bachelor’s. They live on their own, they pay their own bills, they have wonderfully stable relationships. And they love each other too. They are each others best friend. For that I’m very grateful.
I know I’m blathering on, but I never thought I’d have such smart, well adjusted kids….. So follow the rules in the picture I posted. Be loud, be forgiving, be loving, be funny and be honest with your kids. I’m telling you, you will be amazed at how your kids turn out!