Being married does not mean you are dead!

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.–H. L. Mencken
Recently someone told me I needed to act more appropriately than I do because I’m a married woman. Excuse me? But how do I act inappropriately? Because I said to this person that I thought one of our colleagues was hot? I’m sorry but just because I’m married it doesn’t mean I’m dead! I know my other married friends will agree. We may be married but we still feel, see, hear, want and love other people. We don’t act on it because we are MARRIED! We can still look at someone of the opposite or same sex and say, “My God I’d totally do that person”! Hell I even talk to Roger Darling about people I think are beautiful. He does the same with me. I don’t feel self-conscious about it when Roger says things to me like that. I know he loves and wants me.

I remember when we were first married, and I wouldn’t let the man out of my sight. I was so damn jealous. Now we go to a social event, like a party and we go our separate ways. We look at each other from across the room and just smile… We know we’ll be seeing each other later on and we’re okay with being away from each other. He’s a shameless flirt and so am I. Women love that man of mine for some strange reason. It’s so strange because he’s friends with more women than men and I’m friends with more men than women. We totally get that about each other. I think it just comes from being married for almost 23 years. We’re secure in our differences.

If you have to act differently in front of your spouse than you do in front of your friends, there’s a problem with your relationship. We should be free to be exactly who we are in front of our partner. There should be no pretenses. I didn’t die the day I got married. I’m still me. I’m still human. I still have needs, wants, and desires. What would be a problem is if I didn’t feel that way anymore……


34 thoughts on “Being married does not mean you are dead!

  1. I like this and I don’t like this…. I like this because the two of you have a wonderful, strong relationship that doesn’t have to pretend, but I’m one of those crazy people that has fallen so in love with my husband that when I see a “hot guy,” I can totally say that he’s a good looking fellow, but not WANT him. Most people just don’t get this… but then, I’m kinda weird. Still, I like your post, and I like knowing there are good healthy relationships out there like yours πŸ™‚

    • Oh honey you’re not weird. It’s okay to feel the way you do. I think it’s just because we’ve been married for so long. We are very secure in our love and life. I like that we are separate but together. I know I’ve got his back and he has mine. I just don’t like the fact that someone told me I needed to act a certain way. Don’t NOBODY tell me what to do!! Bahahahahahaha!!

    • there’s a difference between saying “i want that guy,” and saying, “i would do that guy.” the second one means if you were single, then you’d do him. the first one means you’re already unzipping your pants.

    • It took a long time for us to get where we are. But we are comfortable and happy. We like each other as much as we love each other. And that helps so much. Takes a lot of work but we’re willing to put the work into it…

    • Thanks Maggie. I really like the relationship he and I have. He’s one heck of a groovy dude. Congratulations on your anniversary. It’s not easy is it? But then again I guess nothing worth having ever is…..

  2. Thaaaaank you. And I totally identify with Roger there, I too seem to have more girl friends (friends being the operative word) than guys. Just seem to like them better, is all. No dick measuring contests!

    • No dick measuring contests. Ha I love it!! It’s oh so true though…. Rog was raised by a great mom. For some reason he got the shopping, decorating, cooking, and cleaning gene. I on the other hand would rather have a beer and a shot and shoot the shit with a bunch of dudes. I don’t have to measure my beauty against any of them. I just get to be ME! πŸ™‚

      • Huh, so women have beauty-measuring contests where we guys have dick-measuring? Interesting…

        Yeah, I’ve seen this with many of my girl friends, they don’t like being around women as much because they too feel the pressure of competition and conformity. I think there’s a good article in this, how those of us who really just need to be ourselves will be more inclined to befriend the opposite sex.

    • Yes Stu you usually do. And for that I’m very grateful. We may be married but we are all sexual beings. We still feel. I’m so thankful that you along with other readers understand. πŸ™‚

  3. haha, my buddies and I were actually talking about this over lunch today. Well, it was actually a show that kinda talked about this. There is this really popular gynecologist in this town. He is a male and all the women in town would rave about how professional and smart he is. Needless to say all the town’s wives used this doctor as their gynecologist. Bunch of husbands decided to investigate this and went to go check out this doctor. The doctor turned out to be this hunk of a beau and all the husbands forbid their wives from seeing him…lol. It was just a simple converation meant to figure out what we would do in this situation…lol I’ll just say 3 out of 4 husbands were in agreement with the show-husbands πŸ™‚

    • Oh my God how funny. I don’t know how I’d feel about going to see a hunky gyn. I’m very fair complected and I know that I would be blushing the whole time. Hell I’d probably get excited and fall out of the stirrups onto the floor. Nope I’ll keep my female gyn and stay on a professional level with them. I might as well keep it business like while I’m getting my business checked out. Giggle.

  4. I didn’t tell you the funniest part though. After all 4 of us gave our opinions on the decision, the 3 guys that were in agreement started verbally assulting the one guy that disagreed…lol.
    First we talk about Justin Beiber, and now we talk about this…sheesh…thats my lunch crew consisting of engineers and rocket scientists 😦

  5. “If you have to act differently in front of your spouse than you do in front of your friends, there’s a problem with your relationship.” AMEN!!

  6. You could summarise it with one word – TRUST. Many years ago, my married boss said these fine words. After I saw him chatting up a waitress, whilst we were out of the country. “I always go home for my sweets”.

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