A Message From Beyond the Grave

I received an interesting email today. It seems a month of so before one of my BFFs died of Colon cancer I sent her an email. I told her I was sorry that the news wasn’t good. That I was scared for her. That I wanted her to come home, so I could cook for her and her family. Rub her feet. Whatever she needed I wanted to do for her. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I didn’t see her again until the day she died. I didn’t get to cook for her. I didn’t get to hug her and talk to her. Even rub her feet. Laugh with her. I had to watch her die. With her siblings and parents around. Who I couldn’t stand because of the hate and contempt that came from all of them. I stayed with her that day though. I did.

Imagine my surprise when I received an email from her this morning. See she’s been dead almost a year and a half. All the message said was, in the absence of truth you forfeit the right to honor my memory. I knew it was her sister sending me the message. But come on. Lighten up already. It’s been a year and a half. Let her go. Turn off the email address, and turn off her cell phone. We can not keep her alive with mechanical and technical means. We need to honor her memory by keeping her in our thoughts. By loving her children. It’s what I do. I love her and I miss her.

I wanted so badly to reply to the message. But instead I saved it. I realized it just isn’t worth the fight anymore. There are too many good things left from her that I want to remember. Want to write about someday. That’s how I’ll honor her memory. By writing about her. That’s how I’ll always love her.

17 thoughts on “A Message From Beyond the Grave

  1. “That’s how I’ll honor her memory. By writing about her. That’s how I’ll always love her.”
    PUNKIN ……..

  2. Your reaction gave her dignity, and yes Grace. The nastyness of her family is not of her doing. Halting the hate filled toxic dialogue that that beast intended to ensue is better than any reaction you could have given.

    • Thanks for such a kind comment my dear. It means a lot. I’m usually quite confrontational. But my heart just isn’t in it anymore. She was a dear friend. I didn’t like her family. They hate me. I have to honor her the only way I can. Positively and with love.

    • It did. For just a second or two. It made me sad too. It made me sad for them. That they just can’t let her go. Leave us be. Let us remember her. Thanks for your comment honey.

  3. This is very touching and a little sad. I’m sorry you lost your friend. My 2 best pals are gone, one to lung cancer the other by her own hand. I miss them but too stay in happy thoughts of them. I have some of their things and quite often I hear them egging me on or encouraging me. Your friend and mine, maybe they’re together. Her sister should really never do that again. Doesn’t seem right to me. Hope you weren’t too disturbed. I would have been.

    • I’m sad you’ve lost two dear friends my sweet. I’m glad you have some of their things to remember them by. We didn’t get to keep anything because the family took it all. I got the two best things out of the deal though. I got her daughters. I have their unwavering love. I love them like they’re mine. That means so much more to me than material possessions. I hope our friends are together. Drinking wine and laughing at the silliness of the universe. I really hope they are. Thanks Susannah. As always I love your comments.

      • Oh honey you are so, so sweet. I like the heart connection. The love. It makes me, me. Loving is what I do best. I have arms to hold you, sweet words to soothe, and a big heart to love with. I’M lucky to have all of them in my life. I’m lucky God gave me such a propensity to love.

      • Yes it sure has been broken, a lot. But the beautiful thing about love is it always gets mended by the next good soul I meet. 🙂

      • Have you ever seen the film Must Love Dogs? Your pal John Cusak has one of the best lines when he says to Diane Lane and I’ll paraphrase just a little, “when your heart breaks it grows back bigger…;” Something like that.

    • Yes it does. But I never did. They did. It’s a sad, sad story Rich. A sad, sad story. With a very unhappy ending. She died and the family was split apart.

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