I Think I’m Finally Spent

God Dammit, I’m exhausted-Lili von Shtupp

So after running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the last 18 months, I’m spent. Because of all of the changes in my life and the sedentary lifestyle I lived for 13 years, I’ve been running on overdrive and adrenaline. Don’t get me wrong it’s been fun for the most part, but I’ve become distracted, disoriented, and disorganized. This Sparkly Girl needs to disconnect and re-group. I’ve found something I’m good at and I’m extremely passionate about it. I’ve found writing. I never in a million years thought I was good at it. This all started from funny Facebook status updates. Serious status updates, lyrics and quotes. Inspirational shit too. Somewhere along the way, I got over-extended and tried to do too much. I’ve lost sight of family, friends and well, the rest of my life.

I need to slow down. But I want to write every damn day. 24/7 preferably. I don’t care if I get paid for it. I get new followers every day, so I must be doing something right. I’ve been told by friends and acquaintances that I’ve given them a voice. That I crawled into their heads and brought out their innermost thoughts. By putting myself out there, I’ve helped them sort out their shit. Unfortunately, I haven’t taken care of my own life. I’m going to take a few days off. I’m not going to post until next Monday, when I’m in West Virginia with my sister from another mister. Hopefully I won’t be chased by a huge ass snake while I’m there. I’m sure Tracy will be glad to take pictures of me running around, peeing on myself, and screaming like a girl. I know she and I will make great memories that I’ll want to share. I’m going to post some of her beautiful photography. She is a goddess behind the lense.

No worries, I will keep writing. On paper for now. As I’ve told K., it’s called longhand. Why I call it that, I’m not sure. Think it’s what my great-grandma called it back when I was a kid. I’ve got a book noodling around in this lovely blonde brain of mine. Some parts of it have already spilled out onto my blog. We’ll see what happens. Keep following me. Keep sending me pictures for stories. I think that’s my favorite. A lot of my readers send me their pics. They tell me a bit of their story and I create a story from it. I embellish of course. Add my own characters, my dreams, my wishes, my past. But it’s fun to go back to the person who sent it to me, and they tell me how close to the truth I get. I’ve even done it for one of my followers. I think that was the MOST fun!

So long for a few days. This demented Tinker Bell and blonde bombshell is going to sleep the sleep of the dead. When I get back, WATCH THE FUCK OUT! Giggle. Oh wait, Roger Darling is telling me to go clean the cat litter. AWESOME!

39 thoughts on “I Think I’m Finally Spent

      • I was wondering ……cuz u didn’t respond last night ………………..
        I hope all is well and rest rest rest MM
        Sometimes we just need to do something else ….
        and rejuvanate – do things for You !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        Love xoxoxox
        and music and reverie and kindness and sweeteness ……………
        Listen my sweet Marilyn ………
        You have come so far – as we all have – right ?
        U gotta see this …… πŸ™‚ I do πŸ™‚ xoxoxoxo
        I remember when i first met you ………
        I think Feb or something ? on my post Confessionals ……………. xx
        so …… Dream and rest ……………….
        and we will all be waiting for you when you get back …..
        You are loved ……
        C= Punkin

        a little soothing music for the am ? xo
        love love love
        Stay strong – as You are already !!!!!!!!!!!!

        Making wishes for you !!!!!!!!!!!

      • Oh C you ARE my heart. I’ll be sure to listen to the song in a few. Love, music, happiness, flowers, babies and good strong men. Oh and good strong coffee too. Much love babe.

  1. Yes it’s time to take care of you!!! Hmmm….someone recently told me the same thing. LOL πŸ˜› I hope you have a fantastic time with Tracy. Make sure to give her big hugs from me. I sure wish I could make the trip with you, I could use some really good girl/me time. I know the two of you will have a great time. Please have a safe trip and can’t wait for more amazing writing when you return. Love you!

    • Love you Annie Girl. I wish you could come with me. We’d have a blast. Haven’t been on a road trip with you since we were 19. Can you believe that? Remember the Memphis Nightmare? Holy shit was that fun. I think I was drunk the entire time. Oh and there was a boy I met there too. I even remember his name, Rick. There might be a story about that odyssey in me. We’ll see. Love you muchly my dear sweet woman! Don’t worry, I know you’ll be with me in spirit on that turnpike. I know you will!

    • Hey it’s good to hear from you! West Virginia is beautiful. I’ve only seen pictures. I can’t wait to see it in person. How lucky you are my sweet to live there. Be back soon.

  2. Hi renee,
    Have a brilliant time and a well earned break, and I’ll look forward to a refreshed you Fuck Yeah!! πŸ™‚
    Seriously this blogging stuff can take over your life. It helps a lot sometimes just to kick back a break, get yourself a nice long cup of coffee and watch the world go by.. electronically of course πŸ™‚
    Gonna miss you, but I’ll be here when you get back.
    love n hugs
    ps I haven;t had a chance to listen to F+TM yet, but it’s on the list and I’ll let you know x

    • Thanks for the kind words Seadog. I’ve been writing everything in a notebook. It’s been really pleasant to not be so connected. Love writing in the whole stream of consciousness way. They’ll manifest into stories and journal posts I’m sure. I’ll be back next week. And my dear, I’m glad you will too. Thanks again.

  3. Good for you πŸ™‚ Its so hard sometimes to put yourself first, but it is the most important thing, because if you aren’t taking care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of those around you? Enjoy your break!! Pamper yourself!! xoxo

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