copyright-John Nixon
“What the hell are we doing here?”
“It’s called Immersion Therapy.”
“For what? Clowns? I’m frightened of sharks and deep water, you idiot.”
“I thought you said clowns.”
“You know, this just proves that you do not listen to me.”
John touches her arm, “I’m sorry.”
Maggie pushes him away, “no, you’re not.”
“I’m trying to help you.”
“Even if you’d gotten my irrational fear correct, I’d never agree to this shit!”
Maggie’s words still hung in the air, and John knew their relationship was over. She didn’t want to get better, and he didn’t want to help her anymore.
100 words/Genre: general fiction
Click here, to find out more about Immersion Therapy.
Thank you Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting Friday Fictioneers. Please be sure to go to her page and read the stories from other writers. We are a rather eclectic group. I welcome kudos and criticism. Bring it on!
Have a great weekend.
and so ends yet another relationship. Communication is key!!
It was a weird story. Don’t know where it came from. Hell, that’s true for most of my stories… 🙂
Bizarre! 🙂
Yeah. Not one of my best for sure. But goofy, like me. Giggle.
Great, Renee!!!!
Pedro.
Thanks Pedro. I thought it kinda sucked. I appreciate you thinking it didnt. 🙂
Thanks
Well done, as usual.
Thanks sweetheart. I just commented to another reader that I thought it sucked. I’m glad you didn’t think so. 🙂
They can’t all be masterpieces. But I liked it.
I’m working on a kinda dirty and romantic story next. I think it’ll be better than this one. ❤
Good luck. It’s very hard work! Am thinking about writing longer but not sure I have the courage or staying power.
Honey, you can do whatever you want. Try it. I have every bit of faith in you….
There is obviously a reason he stopped listening!
She’s high maintenance. 🙂
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A little too close to home, so I can tell you how perfectly written that scene was. Awesome job Renee =)
Sorry it hit you in the heart Troy. I’m glad you liked it. I’m not to happy with it. But sometimes we aren’t. Looking forward to reading yours.
Love, Renee
I know it wasn’t a funny story but after I read the title and then saw the picture, I was already laughing. Lack of communication in a relationship is anything but humorous, though.
Have a wonderful weekend.
janet
It was an interesting story to write. Some could think it was funny. Or sad. I guess it depends on where you are in a relationship. Thank you for your comment. Have a good weekend yourself honey.
Love, Renee
Hell, yes it’s funny and it just reminds us of what lack of communication can cause
Yes it most certainly does remind us of that.
Thus happens between couples (from personal experience) and your story reads like a bit of an episode from a sitcom. Ann
It kind of does read like that doesn’t it? Thanks for the comment Ann.
Having read a few others, this was a pleasant relationship surprise.I enjoyed it.
Thanks very much. It’s not one of my better ones, but I thought it was interesting.
A unique take on the prompt.
Rather odd too. 🙂
ouch, the beginning of the end. well done. love the depth in the story 🙂
Thanks darling. I appreciate your comment.
Ouch, that last line is painful. I’m wondering how he could mistake sharks for clowns. If he didn’t listen, why did he want to help? I imagine this pair are going to be better off apart from each other.
It’s an odd story. Not sure where it came from. The irrational fear of sharks is mine. I can’t even look at photos of them. I scream. I’m downright terrified by them.
You create the most painful characters, darling… you should compile them all in a collection and call it Dysfunctional.
But darling, don’t you just put the “fun” in dysfunctional?
My darling Helena, my characters reflect parts of me, family, friends and a host of others. The majority of them are kind of fucked up. I love the idea for the book though. xoxoxoxxoxoxoxox
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Interesting take.
It’s odd at best. Thanks for the comment.
OMG..this was my past week; well sort of.
Honey, I think we’ve all had those conversations. Sometimes though, we have to say enough is enough….
I need to be reminded of this almost daily. I wonder if they make a pill for that?
Nope they don’t. But darling, I’ve the feeling you’re a strong person. You will figure it out!
Really amusing read! 🙂
Thanks. 🙂
Pleasure’s all mine… 🙂
Dear Renee,
As you may have guessed, my work schedule has made it nearly impossible for me to read until today.
A therapist who doesn’t listen. Time to look elsewhere.
A couple of technical things (let me know if you tire of me doing this) The line “For what, clowns?” It reads as if she’s speaking to the clowns. Perhaps. “For what? Clowns?”
And…you have a tense change. You start us in present tense and then end in past. Seems to me it would flow better if you chose one tense or the other.
In any case a good story and unique take on the prompt. As for subject and family…what would we write about if we came from The Village of the Happy People? Boring!
Shalom,
Rochelle
Hello my dear,
I don’t ever tire of your criticisms and suggestions. Please, I need all the help I can get. I was wondering about using two separate sentences and question marks, and now I know. I do have a tendency to mix up my tenses. I’ll make the necessary changes.
Happy to know you liked the story. I don’t want my characters to be perfect. I like them messed up. I write happy when writing romance. As for the rest of my stories, bring on the screws ups. They are so much more fun to write about.
Hahahahahahaha.
Sincerely,
Renee
Dear Renee,
You’re on the right track. Perfect characters make for a dull read. They should be bigger than life and dysfunctional as hell.
You are a joy to critique because of your desire to write. I just don’t want you to think that I come around to nitpick. Not my intention.
Shalom,
Rochelle
(Be it ever so dysfunctional, there’s no place like ehmo.)
Oh honey, bring on the critiques. I need all the help I can get. As for my desire to write, it’s like breathing to me. It’s all I want to do. You of all people understand that. Nitpick away.
I’m doing my very best to put the “fun” in dysfunctional. Giggle.
Always, Renee
I think that you did great, just by the fact you can do a relational story on that picture… I guess it took some thinking out of the box….
Yes darling it did. Not sure where the stories come from, but I’m glad they fall out of my head all the same. 🙂
John is a doofus, I immediately get that. Loved your story.
Thanks my dear. I think John is a doofus too. But that girl of his is a train wreck…