My brother and I hopped a boxcar our destination unknown. Exhausted from the menial work performed that day, we laid close to the open door. Steel wheels whined a familiar lullaby as we studied the stars.
I thought about our past life with Mom and Dad, before the depression. We had left before they put us out.
‘Do you wonder where they are?’ Jack asked.
‘No’, I lied.
Jack sobbed into my shoulder then fell into a restless sleep. Before I drifted off, my mind wandered to Sunday dinner at the farm and Mom pulling freshly baked biscuits from the oven.
101 words/Genre: hmmmmm I have no idea
Thanks Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting this exercise in discipline. It is a joy to work with you and have you comment on my work. Along with all of my other friends from Friday Fictioneers.
Dear Readers, be sure to check out the other stories found on the little froggy link on Rochelle’s page. Thanks for stopping by.
Oki 100 is not enuff, I want to know more… 😉
Thank you love. I gotta say I like where this story was going. Id like to continue it. Xoxox
Now those lovely creative words are good to hear again. Beautiful Renee 🙂
Thank you so much my dear. I liked it too. I really want to continue it.
Looking forward to it. Mmm, might have to offer it up somewhere for your new profession as a screen writer 🙂
Why thank you my good sir.
Dear Renee,
Happy belated birthday, Renee. I loved the tone and feel of this story. Was the past life in the ‘present’ or a real past life? I’m interested in which is which. Either way, your story was good.
Aloha,
Doug
Hi Doug,
Thanks for the birthday wishes! The past life wasn’t really one. It was just a memory from a time when they were a family of four. Glad you liked my story. Xoxox
Love,
Renee
Bloody great
Thank you so much hon. I gotta say Id like to continue it.
Love the warm feeling about missing their parents and the wonderful moments with them.
I do too, but it makes me sad for them too. I swear I could almost smell the biscuits when I wrote that line.
Steel wheels whined a familiar lullaby as we studied the stars What a lovely line! My parents grew up during the depression. They have lots of tales to tell. Luckily their families got to stick together.
I rewrote that line like three times. I wanted it to be perfect, so you could actually hear what they heard. I’m so glad you got it.
I hope you’ve written down some of your parents stories, and I’m glad to hear that they got to stick with their family.
Being the big sister you have to save your tears for the darkness.. lovely end.. and a recapture of hard times.. Imagine that we still have children coming alone all the way to Sweden… so the story keeps repeating.
Yep, she had to be tough for her little brother, yet soft when he cried.
I’m sorry to hear the sad story of children coming alone to Sweden. We have to remember that times are still hard for some.
Dear Renee
Sorry I missed your birthday – hope you had a lovely day.
I love this tale of longing and though it is sad, it has made me want to know more.
Well written, as always
Dee x
Hi Dee,
My birthday was a good one.
I think I want to more too. Maybe I’ll write more about them. We’ll see.
Renee
Reblogged this on cookiedmouse's Blog.
Dear Renee,
This had a Grapes of Wrath feel to it. Very nicely done. The Depression was a dark time that you captured well. I think you could call this Historical Fiction. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
Hi Rochelle,
I’m glad you liked it and I’ll be sure to change the genre. Thanks my dear for the critique.
Love, Renee
Heartbreakingly sad!
That’s exactly what I was going for. Thanks for feeling that when you read it dawn.