For the love of Facebook…

People have really gotten comfortable not only sharing more information and different kinds, but more openly and with more people – and that social norm is just something that has evolved over time. –Mark Zuckerberg

Yes I am a Facebook addict, whore, trollop, troll, slut, etc. Whatever you want to call it I am. I wear the label proudly. I’m a social person. Always have been. I do not apologize for this behavior. Even when I was disrupting the other students in the classroom and was sent out in the hall in elementary school. It mortified my mother that I was always “too social”. My therapist tells me I have a magnetic personality. That people are drawn to me like a moth to a flame. I don’t know about that, but I do know I LOVE to talk and people usually  listen. I think they listen mostly because I don’t use my inside voice too often. I do tend to be a bit brazen and loud. I love to say what’s on my mind. Even if what I have to say is deemed inappropriate by other people. What I say is usually what’s on the minds of others anyway, they’re just afraid to say it out loud.

I just checked my timeline and it appears that I started using FB back in 2008. It doesn’t seem that long ago…. I like timeline by the way. All you haters in FB land need to get with the program. The only constant in this life is change. Change is good. And it makes a jingling noise in your pocket (Harry, it’s a pun, I thought you’d like it). 🙂 No really, change is good. If we become stagnant, we die…..

I post and share a lot. I try to limit myself throughout the day though because I was getting really annoying about it. I was doing it WAY too much! I’m much more selective in what I post now. If I find an inspiring quote or passage I save it and then post it to my Need Inspiration photo album. I’ve recently created an author page called Renee Homan Heath Blog Goddess on FB. I’m getting a few likes here and there but I’m still not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing with it. Oh well, I’m learning as I go…. I’m a bit of a music whore too so I post a lot of videos. My musical taste is eclectic. I could post videos on dubstep, rock, punk, reggae, dance. Hell who knows. I’ll listen to anything….

FB taught me how to write. It brought Lisa to me one day and she told me that I had a talent. That I should blog so I can share it with others. That’s why I do this now. It brought me the Tracys. Two girls I so wanted to be friends with in high school, but was absolutely scared to death of. I love them both so much! I’ve told Roger Darling that if I ever go on life support he has to wait to pull the plug until Tracy from West Virginia gets to the hospital to say goodbye. She’s my sister from another mister and my split apart. I love her. I love the other Tracy too but she’s in Saline. She’d get to my bedside faster that WV Tracy would…. It brought me Sher, my biggest cheerleader when it comes to writing. She’s such a farm girl. I love her filthy mouth. Some of the things she says just floor me and make me laugh hysterically. And there’s Annie, one of my oldest and dearest friends. Our relationship fell by the way for many, many years. But because of FB we reconnected. We learned to love one another again. I can’t imagine not having her in my life. There’s Lo Lo, my nearest and dearest. The one who’s been with me for 30 years. She’s never judged and has always loved me. Through everything. There’s Harry, the best guy in my life besides Roger Darling and Adam. And Tina Lynn, and Janie and Rae Rae, and Ronnie, and Franky. And so on, and so on, and so on.  I love them all. They love me. They love my posts. They love what I write. They complete me.

So don’t judge me because I’m a FB whore, trollop, addict, troll, slut, etc. If it hadn’t been for FB I wouldn’t have found my calling. I wouldn’t have found my way. And I wouldn’t have found all of you, dear readers. If you want to friend me, please do. Either my personal page or my author page. I may just post something that you can relate to, that will make you laugh, or make you cry. You just never, ever know…..

In Our House We Do LOUD!

I saw this on a friends FB page and I just had to share it. I do believe Roger Darling and I will be finding it soon and posting it on a wall in our home. I do think we tried to raise our kids with these “rules”. We are the crazy, “real” family. The ones that told our kids straight up if you do something wrong you will have to suffer the consequences. But you will be able to come to mom and dad and we will do our best to help you deal with it. We knew that our kids were going to make mistakes. We knew they were going to do things to hurt themselves and us as they were growing up. But we wanted them to be able to come to us and say they screwed up. We knew they weren’t going to be angels and we knew that life would be hard for them sometimes…. We didn’t hide the world from our kids. We didn’t hide sensitive subjects, like sex and drugs. You’ve got questions, I’ve got answers. And baby if you ask me the hard questions about my past, I will NOT lie to you. They asked me all kinds of stuff, and I answered. Much to Rogs dismay sometimes. He would just look at me and ask me why I didn’t lie. And I would point blank tell him because that’s how I grew up and I was not going to raise my children that way. I sure as hell didn’t. My kids can tell me ANYTHING and I will listen and do my best to help them.

I told my daughter when she was young that she needed to speak up. That was a lesson she quickly learned. I may not have liked all the things that she had to say to me but I’m proud of the fact that she turned into such a strong, confident and smart young woman. She knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to go after it. She is a charmer. She is warm. She is beautiful. But she can be a bitch and she’s stubborn. I do believe that she got all of those qualities from me. However if I’d taught her to keep quiet, to be seen and not heard and to also fear me, she would have been a totally different person. And I would have missed out on raising such a strong daughter. She could’ve been a push over. One that let men hurt her. Or take advantage of her. Fortunately she is her own woman. Even though she is happy with the fact she wants to marry young. This I worry about, but I know she is determined.

I taught my son to be a good young man, to speak frankly, to be funny, to treat women with respect. He is insanely funny. He makes me laugh so hard I hurt and want to wet my pants. He’s incredibly smart. He must have gotten his brains from his dad! The subjects that he speaks to me about astound me. I do believe he’s going to be a politician. A democrat of course! I made sure he spoke up when he young. He was a little timid at first. A little shy. I remember him coming home from football practice in 7th grade. He looked miserable… He walked up to his dad, started crying and said he didn’t want to play. He hated it! Roger Darling just looked at him and said he didn’t have to continue. That it was okay not to play. He was not disappointed in him. Adam looked so relieved. Secretly I was thankful he didn’t want to play. Not because I was worried about him getting hit. My son is no pussy. I just liked the fact that both of my kids were into swimming and not football and cheerleading. I think I would’ve stabbed myself in the eye if they were! (I was a punk rock, stoner girl, and a singer/actor. I was shocked that my kids were both singer/actors and athletes. Thank God they weren’t stoners like their momma!)

We were the loud and funny family. I would always do something ridiculous and obnoxious in public just get my kids to laugh at me. Roger would be mortified of course. But we didn’t care. The kids and I would just tell Dad to lighten up! We’re still the loud and funny family. I like the fact that we can get into these heated conversations about politics, world issues, gas prices, wedding planning, etc. Practically knock down drag out fights and then one of us says something stupid (usually me!) and we laugh hysterically. My future son in law thinks we’re all pretty cool and he’s goofy like the rest of us, so he fits right in.

We love each other immensely. We tell each other all the time. It used to drive the kids kinda nuts when they were teenagers and I would yell out the door as they were leaving that I loved them. I just always wanted them to know I did. And this is the morbid part, just in case something happened to me and I never got to tell them again…. They had to know….

I can’t say we were the perfect parents, but Roger and I really tried our best. Our kids are 20 and 21. They are finishing up college soon. Adam already is planning for graduate school. Meg will be too but she wants to start teaching as soon as she’s done with her Bachelor’s. They live on their own, they pay their own bills, they have wonderfully stable relationships. And they love each other too. They are each others best friend. For that I’m very grateful.

I know I’m blathering on, but I never thought I’d have such smart, well adjusted kids….. So follow the rules in the picture I posted. Be loud, be forgiving, be loving, be funny and be honest with your kids. I’m telling you, you will be amazed at how your kids turn out!

Just shut the f#$k up and be nice

I just have to rant for a second. Why can’t one of the people that I work with just shut the f@$k up and be nice? I would say the F word many, many times right now but I’ve given it up for Lent and I’m trying so hard to be good! I just don’t get it. We had a professor come to us with a special favor, and the first thing the employee says to me is they hope I will say no. WHY? Because the request has never been made before? Because it might take 20 minutes out of my day? Who gives a rat’s ass, really? Shut up and be nice. Do nice, good and kind things and the same will be done to you. Be a bitch and the world will shit all over you. Hell you may be nice and the world could still shit on you but just be nice dammit! We learned that caring means sharing in Kindergarten for the love of Bob!!

Oh and I checked with the prof that needed the extra help and really it’ll take me like 20 minutes to complete their task. So was it that bad to just be nice and find out exactly what they needed? Of course not and the professor thanked me over and over again for the assistance. Plus she’s one of my favorites, so I don’t mind giving her some extra help. So next time when you feel like being snarky, just take my advice, shut the F up and be nice!

For the love of my goth goddess, K…..

I like the dark, mysterious, maybe even gothic type girls. They have to have a good personality too! I’m very picky! –Shia LaBeouf

A few months ago I got the opportunity to be promoted to the grooming salon at the pet store that I work at. I immediately fell in love with the lovely goth goddess that I work with on Wednesdays and Thursday nights. K was everything I wanted to be when I was young. Funny, sunny, loud, tattooed, beautiful, and her own woman. Oh and she looks like Betty Page when she has black hair, and just like Lucille Ball when her hair is red. She has the mouth of a trucker, which I totally love, because I do too. She screams MEH at the top of her lungs and makes dirty sounds while humping the air. I find this absolutely hysterical as does everyone else that we work with. We keep asking if she does this to her boyfriend, but she just smiles coyly and keeps acting goofy….. I’ve started making these loud, obnoxious groaning sounds when I’m pissed off at home much to my husband’s chagrin. And I know it’s all because of K!

If she sees a Corgi in the store she has a mini love meltdown. It is a must for her to stop whatever it is she is doing and shower it with love and kisses. She has one herself that she treats as if it is a furry child. There’s been plenty of times we’ve had her Corgi in the salon with us. It’s so much fun to watch Bean dance around us and bark her fool head off while we dance with her. Bean’s whole butt wags, probably because she has a nubbin for a tail. Giggle.

K is the gentlest soul when it comes to grooming. She loves on a puppy dog and treats it like it’s her own. But don’t let the doggie start acting like a dork, cuz she’ll alpha out on it. The dog knows she means business and they usually straighten right up. She’s such a perfectionist when doing cutting. If something is not right she’ll keep working at it till it’s perfect. I’ve seen her finish with a dog, put it back in the little kennel and then 10 minutes later put the dog back on the table to “fix” it. I have to tell her all the time that the doggie looked perfect, stop being so damn picky. But she’s an only child, so she wants what she wants and don’t tell her any different. I mean that last sentence in the most loving way. She is a little snot butt, but hey that’s what makes her so wonderful.

She and I have shared many things. We’ve talked about life, love, friends, futures, pasts. Nothing has been off limits. She’s made me laugh and she’s made me cry. I love her like she’s my own. She told me last night she knows that if I was as young as her we’d hang out. I said of course we would, we’d be best friends, and we’d wear lots of purple pin up clothes and animal prints. We really would…. She’s leaving me in a few weeks because she got promoted. While I’m proud of her, I’m also sad. I feel like I’m losing out on my youth by losing my best girl. I know she will do great things. I know that she will find her way. And when she does, I know that part of me will find my way too. I love you K. I really, really do……