My friend, the original Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, came to me last week to tell me that he had fucked up. I looked up at him, intrigued. I told him to go on. He said he and a friend had come to a mutual decision to be “Friends with Benefits”. He was shocked that she then started to have feelings for him! I wanted to reach out and slap him. He’s all 6 foot 4, tattooed and gorgeous. But he can be a dumb ass. I looked at him and called him a dumb fuck. I asked if she was the one that suggested they become FWBs, and he sheepishly said, yes. I told him that even though I’ve been married for 23 years I knew the outcome of his story. If the girl suggests being FWBs, she’s already on her way to “Love”ville. I told Big Daddy that if she calls you at midnight and she’s drunk, then that’s a booty call. Those are okay. But “Friends with Benefits” seldom work out. Someone ALWAYS gets hurt.
In my experience, it has usually been me that got hurt. I always used sex as validation. I figured if he had sex with me, it must mean he cares about me. Right? No he didn’t. To him I was just a piece of ass, till the next real relationship came along. And the boys that hid me away from others? That was even more fucked up. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t hurt a boy or two back in the day. I know I did. Sometimes all we are to each other is sex and body parts. We’re meeting a need or it could even be as simple as curiosity. But remember curiosity killed the cat, or in this case Big Bad Voodoo Daddy’s friendship. To this day there are some people that I’ve regretted sleeping with. Most I do not. We gave each other what we needed. We took what we needed too. Even if it was a booty call or FWB, there was some comfort in it.