Friday Fictioneers-The Madness of a Woman Seduced

Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for the prompt this week. I encourage both kudos and criticisms. I’m tough. I can take it. Most of the time. It ain’t easy being a tender hearted potty mouth such as moi. Yes, the story is romantic. Sort of. I promised myself there’d be a death. No one dies, but a love does.

My brother Rory edited my story. He takes my words and makes them shine. If I get famous, I’m taking him with me. I promise.

Don’t like the genre, get bent. It’s what I do best.

Genre: Romance (with a side of broken heart)

copyright-claire-fuller…and the long-stemmed red tulips bent in the breeze like exotic women accepting homage.

Susan Fromberg Schaeffer, “The Madness of a Seduced Woman”

“You seduced me. Made me love you. Then you left.”

“Yes, I did. You fell. But that wasn’t my fault.”

“Of course it wasn’t your fault. Nothing ever is. You called me crazy. I’m far from it.”

“I said you ‘acted’ crazy.”

“Same thing.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“A woman seduced carries her own brand of madness.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not. David’s here. Now leave.”

He touches her cheek, he walks away. She picks up hammer and chisel. Metal strikes stone, dust flies. An image appears, of lovers, holding fast. She scrawls a lopsided heart. It is finished, so are they.

100 words 

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You Continue to be the Life of Me

cup-of-coffee

Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.-Susan Scarf Merrell

Enjoying the mid-morning bustle of the coffee shop, Tia and Ray take in the sweet smell of pastry in the air begrudgingly. Tia, with her head bowed stares into her coffee cup, hoping for some sort of salvation. She’s ashamed, and dreads the conversation she feels coming on between her brother and herself, the one where she’ll tell him yet again of another sad story of “love lost.” For his part, Ray simply waits, holding his coffee cup close to his lips. He blows on the steamy brew gently to cool it, but manages to burn his lip upon his first sip anyway.

After the usual expletive, Ray knowingly says, “Sis, again? Really, you have to stop running away from your shame.”

Giving him a wounded smile, Tia replies, “You know I can’t. Even after all these years and instances, wounds are fresh, painful to the touch. You know it’s how we were raised. We were always afraid of being inadequate. Not worthy.”

While she speaks, Ray takes Tia’s hand into his, and begins caressing it gently with his fingertips.

“Fuck this bullshit. Let’s finish this damn coffee and go get fresh ink!”, Tia blurts out defiantly.

“No Sis,” Ray replies, “We need to talk, to get this all out in the open. Out of your system.”

“Out of my system,” Tia almost cries, “What do you want me to say? That daddy always belittled me, so that’s why I chase unavailable men? Big fucking deal. I’m a wreck. It happens.”

“Come on now Tia,” Ray implores, “It was the same dad who told me that I was a sissy, just because I had trouble holding back my feelings. He told me I had to be tough. ‘Walk it off,’ he would say. And what did that do for me, except cause me to spend years questioning my sexuality.”

“But I’m not like you, Ray. I am tough,” Tia replies “I don’t need to love like you do, stability, a home. All I need is to fuck, drink, smoke, and swear. I don’t need anyone or anything to get in the way of that. I just… I just want to run till I die.”

Shaking his head, Ray bluntly states, “You’re so full of shit Sis. You do want love. You want someone to take your body, mind and soul. You want that person to tell you it’s okay to be fucked up. It is OK, you know.” Then softening, Ray says, “You want to be loved, I can see it in your eyes. They speak far louder than your actions.”

Tia’s angry eyes soften at her brother’s words. “Brother, you’re a good one. And you’re right, I do want to be loved-I deserve to be loved. But who will have me? I’ve wrecked my life. I’ve got nothing to offer but my sex. Who will love me for that alone?”

Exasperated, Ray blurts out, “Sis, listen to you. Don’t be so goddamned pitiful! See that you have much more to offer than ‘just your sex,’ and you’ll start to be able to love yourself. Love yourself first. Then others will follow suit.”

“Gawd Ray, that is such bullshit! I’ve loved myself so much already, that my clit is broken.”

Looking at her, Ray begins to laugh so hard that he chokes, chortling, “Woman, you are a nut!”

“Yes dear, I know,” responds Tia, “But I sure am fun! You know, you’re right – I do want love. I want to put my heart out there. I want to wake up in the morning next to a man I know could tear my heart out, but won’t. The kind that will let me fall apart and hold me, that will let me scream, throw dishes and act like a child. And then when I’m done going crazy, soothe me with kind words and gentle hands. But I also want a man who’ll kick my ass when I need it, too. I want to be loved fully!”

“Then you’ve got to wait for Mr. Right, instead of Mr. Right Now, right?” questioned Ray.

“Right. I tell ya what Broseph, if I promise to swear off booze and sketchy men, will you promise to swear off the self-loathing you’re so good at?” responds Tia hopefully.

“It’s a deal Sis,” Smiles Ray, “And about that fresh ink?”

Giving Ray a lopsided grin, Tia responds with, “Oh honey, that’s going to happen. I’ve already texted my artist and made an appointment. Drink up, we have to be there in a half hour!”

“You’re going to be the death of me, you know that, right?” laughs Ray.

“Ah yes,” Tia now beams, “But you continue to be the life of me, I mean, until Mr. Right comes along. Now let’s blow this pop stand, and get tattooed!”

The Booker Award

The Booker Award Nomination

I feel like such a shit because it took me so damn long to acknowledge Magnolia Beginnings for this lovely nomination. It wasn’t hard for me to come up with five favorite books. I’m kind of a book whore. It was extremely hard to whittle it down to only 5 but here it goes.

Along with being nominated, the nominee is to list their top 5 favorite books.  I hate to play favorites, but I think I can manage to list 5 books that have had a significant impact on me.

  1. The Time Machine by H.G. Wells : This is probably the first book that got me interested in the post-apocalyptic genre. There was something so intriguing to me about the world coming to an end and then being re-invented. The protagonist must then travel back in time to try and save the future. What a great read.
  2. The Stand: Unabdridged by Stephen King: I read this book every damn summer. It goes with me to the beach, pool or the back porch. I have read it so many times I can recite the dialogue. There is something about Larry, who is my favorite character that I can identify with. Probably because he’s all kinds of fucked up but he’s a good man at heart. Read it. You won’t be sorry. 
  3. The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson: This is by far the saddest love story I have ever read. The story of a former porn star that is severely burned and then is visited by a woman that says they were lovers many lifetimes ago. For me the most heart wrenching part was the story of the young child who’s lungs are so severely burned by a reaction to a medication that  she will never recover. With all of her strength she walks to the bed of our unnamed narrator, crawls into his bed, holds his hand, prays for him and then they both fall asleep. He wakes to find that she is still holding his hand but she is no longer breathing. It took all of her strength and breath just to die in his arms.
  4. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg: Idgie Threadgood is one of my all time heroes. I love her spunk, her ability to drink, and to tell it like it is. She didn’t take shit. Even when she stood trial for murder.
  5. Rage by Richard Bachman (Stephen King): This book is no longer in print because the subject matter is all too familiar to us in these trying times. It is about a young man with a gun that holds captive a roomful of students and a teacher. King said that after Columbine, he couldn’t bring himself to re-print it. Fortunately, I have a collector’s copy. It contains three of my favorite Bachman Books. Rage, The Long Walk, and The Running Man. All three stories are kick ass!

As I said it’s hard to play favorites.  There are loads more I could list, but these I felt were the most impactful—at least at the present.

Participation in the Booker Award means adhering to the following rules:

  1. Nominate 5-10 bloggers and let your recipients know.
  2. Post The Booker Award picture.
  3. Share your top 5 books of all time.

So I’ll now include my nominees:

http://boomiebol.wordpress.com/
http://youjivinmeturkey.com/
http://kylemew.com/
http://birdmartin.wordpress.com
http://www.theeyeoffaith.com

Congratulations to my nominees. I’ll be looking forward to reading what 5 books you post as your favorites.

I Think I’m Finally Spent

God Dammit, I’m exhausted-Lili von Shtupp

So after running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the last 18 months, I’m spent. Because of all of the changes in my life and the sedentary lifestyle I lived for 13 years, I’ve been running on overdrive and adrenaline. Don’t get me wrong it’s been fun for the most part, but I’ve become distracted, disoriented, and disorganized. This Sparkly Girl needs to disconnect and re-group. I’ve found something I’m good at and I’m extremely passionate about it. I’ve found writing. I never in a million years thought I was good at it. This all started from funny Facebook status updates. Serious status updates, lyrics and quotes. Inspirational shit too. Somewhere along the way, I got over-extended and tried to do too much. I’ve lost sight of family, friends and well, the rest of my life.

I need to slow down. But I want to write every damn day. 24/7 preferably. I don’t care if I get paid for it. I get new followers every day, so I must be doing something right. I’ve been told by friends and acquaintances that I’ve given them a voice. That I crawled into their heads and brought out their innermost thoughts. By putting myself out there, I’ve helped them sort out their shit. Unfortunately, I haven’t taken care of my own life. I’m going to take a few days off. I’m not going to post until next Monday, when I’m in West Virginia with my sister from another mister. Hopefully I won’t be chased by a huge ass snake while I’m there. I’m sure Tracy will be glad to take pictures of me running around, peeing on myself, and screaming like a girl. I know she and I will make great memories that I’ll want to share. I’m going to post some of her beautiful photography. She is a goddess behind the lense.

No worries, I will keep writing. On paper for now. As I’ve told K., it’s called longhand. Why I call it that, I’m not sure. Think it’s what my great-grandma called it back when I was a kid. I’ve got a book noodling around in this lovely blonde brain of mine. Some parts of it have already spilled out onto my blog. We’ll see what happens. Keep following me. Keep sending me pictures for stories. I think that’s my favorite. A lot of my readers send me their pics. They tell me a bit of their story and I create a story from it. I embellish of course. Add my own characters, my dreams, my wishes, my past. But it’s fun to go back to the person who sent it to me, and they tell me how close to the truth I get. I’ve even done it for one of my followers. I think that was the MOST fun!

So long for a few days. This demented Tinker Bell and blonde bombshell is going to sleep the sleep of the dead. When I get back, WATCH THE FUCK OUT! Giggle. Oh wait, Roger Darling is telling me to go clean the cat litter. AWESOME!

And Another Fucking Thing!

I just want to say that the bloggers that have been leaving comments on my page floor me. I never in a million years thought I was any good at this writing thing. I was terrible in English class, but I can spell and speak like a mother fucker. I’m the Grammar Nazi in my family. When the kids were growing up I would correct them. I didn’t want them sounding like heathens. Hell, Meggie won a writing award in fourth grade. I knew my correction was working. Er, except when I corrected Roger Darling. That was a bad day in the Heath House. Holy shit I thought he was going to kick my ass (read figuratively. The man worships my sparkly ass.). The kids thought it was hilarious. Oh yeah, sure. Mom’s going to get her ass kicked by Dad. That’ll be a hoot. Fortunately there was no ass kicking. Just a nice reminder that I was not his mother. Ha!

I used to post funny status updates on FB all the time. Or sad ones. Or thought provoking ones. Or pissed off ones. Whatever was on this sparkly mind of mine. My dear friend Lisa was the one that said blog. I said okay, but I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. The first few posts suck. But as time progresses they get better. I’ve had help from other writers. I guess that means I’m a writer too.

The comments here are always positive. I’m shocked. I was told to be prepared for criticism. The only criticism I ever got was on subject matter that I write about. Those comments were from my own extended family.They’re shocked about what I write. They wonder how I can put myself out there. How can I not? I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking? Why not just come out and say it. And they don’t like the fact that I say fuck all the time. Fuck that! I say fuck, because I fucking can. So that’s what I’m going to fucking do. I love them, but this girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.

My mother has read my more recent posts. Rather I read them to her. She told me she was proud of me. But did I have to say fuck all the time? Mom I love you but yes, I fucking do. My readers like it. Hell, I like it.

I have friends tell me all the time that I’m writing about what they’re thinking. Of course I am. We’re all on this planet going through the same damn shit, so why wouldn’t they identify with me?

I had one blogger comment that in all the years that she’d been studying writing in college, she couldn’t come close to some of the things that I’d been writing. My thoughts, my subjects, my words were those of some of her favorite authors. I was overjoyed by the words, but I’m still skeptical. I still don’t want to believe it.

I was thinking about taking a creative writing class. I don’t really know if I want to. I mean I’m all for sitting at a computer and bleeding. But I want to bleed and write about my passions. My needs. My wants. My desires. Not what some teacher wants me to write about. I’m kind of a rebel girl. I don’t like it when someone tells me what to do. So I think I’m just going to keep doing more of what I’ve been doing. I read other bloggers every day. I get insight from every post I read and from every writer that I talk to.

I hope you keep reading. I hope more bloggers follow me. I hope I never run out of words. I hope, I hope and I hope.

Reader Appreciation Award, really? Aw shucks….

 Reader Appreciation Award!

I’m just tickled to death that I was nominated for this award by Vicky…the Northern Chicky (she’s a hoot, go read her!). It still surprises me when I read that people love my blog. That they love reading me. I’m so glad I’ve found this passion in me and I’m channeling it for good. No more destructive behavior. Unless it’s fun and no one gets hurt. Then of course let the destructive and crazy behavior continue. And if I can get at least eight hours of sleep before the next bit of craziness in me takes over, that’s even better. I do need my beauty sleep after all….. And I’m quite the cranky cunt if I don’t get enough of it.

With this award, I get to share with you something I’ve been up to and my nominations.

WHAT I’VE BEEN UP TO RECENTLY

Sooooo this is what I’ve been up to. Working, not running, working, eating healthy, working, crying a bit more than usual, working, laughing hysterically at stupid shit, working, seeing my dear Goth Princess K, at work, working, and dancing to the song Wild Ones in my office. And saying the word fuck a lot. Tomorrow there’s no work. Yay for me. It’s a day to spend with my husband and kids for Mom’s day. We’re doing something groovy but they won’t tell me what it is yet. That’s okay though. I love surprises as much as I love puppies and babies……

MY SIX NOMINATIONS FOR THE READER APPRECIATION AWARD… Please read them. They are all excellent!

My Voices Say it’s True – He’s a newbie but he’s a dear friend that has good things to say. Encourage him to keep up the writing.

Brainsnorts, Inc. – Good story teller. His posts are good and the writing is superb. Makes me wish I was a better writer for sure.

Kylling Sara – I love her writing it so heartfelt and filled with emotion. I really identify with her.

Life, Leadership and Faith – Thought provoking, inspirational, and restores my believe in the Holy Spirit. I’m sure she cringes at some of my posts….

Awakeningpsyche – oh my his poetry can just still my anxious heart.

Tales of a Charm City Chick– Love the girl. She’s funny and just right on. I love her writing. She’s very real.