100 Word Song-Can’t Keep

empty-hospital-bed

Everyone left my bedside and I welcomed the quiet. I needed a break from their painted on smiles and feigned conversations. Family can be overbearing, but it’s the worst when you’re terminal.

I depressed my morphine pump, and fought the urge to drift off to sleep. Killing myself with the drug would be easy.

My disease was ravenous, and I was finished with it. I grabbed a bottle from my nightstand. My fingers shook when unscrewing the cap, but not my resolve.

Like Alice in Wonderland, I drank my potion and announced to no one, ‘you can’t keep me here.’

Robot-Badge

Thank you Lance Burson for hosting the 100 word song prompt. You rock my friend! You really, really, really do. I’m honored you asked me to contribute the song for this week.

People, go read his work. He’s fabulous!!!

The Passionate Son

The curl

Nothing you would take. Everything you gave. Hold me till I die. Meet you on the other side…..

Raised by false father

Mother lied of lineage

Brought into this world

The Passionate Son

Music was his muse

His outlet

His life

His friend

When alone

Avid surfer

The Ocean

His element

Sand in his toes

As he wrote

Created and

Became a

Superstar

Rode that wave

Head down

Eyes open

Body strong

Heart burdened

He rode the curl

Tears flowed

For an unknown father

Even after all this time

They still do

Today has been a Pearl Jam and Eddie Vedder kind of day. It started with a conversation with my colleague Shari. We discussed what song Eddie wrote especially for us. I won’t tell you what they are. It might be in another post. I talked to Harry for a minute and told him thank you for making me listen to PJ. I never liked them much, till he forced me to succumb to their genius. Now I can’t get enough.

I listen to Eddie’s album Ukelele Songs on a weekly basis. It’s not his voice that I’m drawn to, so much as his words. He’s a passionate soul. I’d like to think if I ever got the chance to meet him, our conversation would be deep. Like the ocean that he loves. That he’s written and still sings about.  Maybe he’d even teach me how to surf. Maybe he’d teach me that a little fear of deep water is nothing compared to riding that curl.

40 Days and WTF Happened to my Ass???

40 days till my Meggie marries the man of her dreams. He looks an awful lot like Eddie Vedder. His name is Chris.  My future son in law couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. If you listen to Eddie though, he sounds like he’s sucking on a few marbles when he sings. Which is just fine with me. I think he’s a golden god! I digress. Now back to Chris. The young man loves my daughter with everything he has, so I gotta love him too. I love him even more, because before he asked Meggie to marry him, he asked her dad.

The wedding plans are coming together. Not much to do. Get the dress there, get the license, and make sure that the bridal party gets off the cruise ship on time. We also need to get to the rented beach bungalow, hair/makeup/clothes, catch a taxi and make our way to where the ceremony will take place. Roger Darling is in charge of getting the wedding guests, family, groom and groomsmen to the beach by 10 am.

Roger sent me a text yesterday that said, I love you Mother of the Bride. I sent him a reply that said Olive u 2 Father of the Bride. We’re a couple of dorks, but we’re fun!

When I got home last night, I realized that Meggie’s dress will have to be cleaned and pressed. Then placed in its own suitcase for the trip. I started freaking the hell out. What if it gets ruined at the cleaners? What if the suitcase it’s in gets lost in transit? What if? What if? What if? Roger looked at me and said, Ah hell we’ll rent her a dress on the ship. I totally forgot we could do that. Phew!

In the last few weeks I’ve tried putting on and zipping up my size 12 pants. Seems I’ve grown out of the fuckers. I’m none too pleased by this development. If you’ve been following me for long you know I’ve gone through a huge weight loss. My body and mind have been transformed. The last two years have been quite the roller coaster. Through writing, I’ve been learning to adjust.

Recently I injured my back, got depressed, started drinking again and well, kinda fell apart. Little by little I’ve healed. I’ve recovered in almost every way. Except I still can’t fit into my fucking pants!

Now it’s back to the gym for Roger Darling and me. Time for us to get addicted to something healthy. And though I’m sore from doing 75 ab crunches and reverse sit ups and my legs feel like jello from learning how to run again, I’m elated. Fucking elated, I tell you!!!! I’ve got my gym clothes in the car and I’ll head there right after work today. It feels good to sweat. It feels good to run. It feels good to hurt from a workout. Fucking A it feels good!

I told Super Therapist today as I opened up my palm and pointed at it, “This right here in the palm of my hand is the world. I can do and be anything that I want.”

He just looked at me, smiled and replied, “Yes Renee, you most certainly can and you will.”

Happy Wednesday my sweets. Happy Wednesday. Go grab life by the balls, will ya?