Oh, Love

I witnessed the most beautiful sunrise this morning. I hope you did also, she texted.

I did, he typed back.

There was so much more she wanted to say to him, but the sun coming up was all she could think of. She wanted to say come live with me. To say she couldn’t live without him. That all she wanted to do was go to sleep, and feel the warmth of his body next to hers.

I hate my life, but I get up every morning and deal with it, she typed.

He didn’t respond right away, but she knew what he was thinking. He wondered what happened to his Sunshine and the only light in his otherwise mundane life.

He replied simply, we all are trying to muddle through.

At least we enjoyed the sunrise, she quickly responded.

His final response was an emoticon, a winking smiley face. She sent back an emoticon kiss, snapped on her computer and began her workday.

They wished for each other on those sunrises. Maybe someday they’d get the chance to watch one together.

 

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Journal Entry Monday-Straddling the Horizon

copyright-Tracy Rhodes

Copyright-Tracy Rhodes Photography

When I drove in to work this morning, I felt like I was straddling the horizon. The sunrise to the East, and the moon to the West. Stars settled on my shoulder and whisked pixie dust through my hair. I knew I was being reborn.

The last 30 days have been quite remarkable. Where do I even begin? I guess, I’ll begin at the beginning….

On September 26, I drove a completely packed UHaul to my new apartment. After I signed the lease and got the keys, I started lugging boxes. My friends arrived a couple of hours later and helped me drag the furniture up one flight of stairs. J bitched about having to drag the sofa bed up a flight. But with the help of my BFF’s teenage son, they got it moved with nary a broken fingernail between them. As a thank you, I took my moving crew out to dinner at a local Coney Island. The food was cheap and good. Our conversation lively and full of laughter. After the plates were cleared and the bill settled, I hugged my friends and headed home, alone.

Alone, that was what I wanted to be. I smiled at the prospect of it. The sense of it too. I’d never been alone my entire adult life, but I was anxious to begin my journey. After I arrived back at my place, I slipped a DVD into the player (Pretty in Pink) and started to unpack my treasures. Working tirelessly till about 1 am, I finally collapsed on my sofa bed and slept the sleep of the dead.

The next morning, I dragged my sleepy ass off the couch and drove to my local AT & T store. Seems my smart phone took a shit in the middle of the night so I had to get it replaced. Nick, my sales rep noticed my anxiety about the replacement fee of 250.00. He graciously waived it, set me up and shoved me out the door before 10 am when the cable/internet installer was to arrive at my apartment. Wonder of wonders, the cable guy showed up on time and I had cable and internet before noon. Thank God, because there is no way in hell I could live without Facebook or Word Press for more than 24 hours!

I won’t bore you with more details of settling in. Suffice is to say that it was pretty uneventful. A few leaks in the bathroom needed to be tended to by maintenance. My kitty, Cinders came to live with me. She’s a happy camper and good company. I hear from my children and ex-husband on a regular basis, and we’re all adjusting to the new ‘normal’.

Friends have wanted to come visit. I’m okay with it, but I enjoy my solitude. The quiet is welcoming and I let it envelope me. I read, write, shop, sleep, and buy my own flowers. I relish the times away, and revel in the time spent with myself. I’ve gotten the hang of budgeting my time and money. When my children call on me, I drop everything and go to them. It’s easier now to be a good mother without the rain cloud of unhappiness that used to follow me everywhere.

Roger Darling and I will always have a connection. We will be a family because we are parents to the two most incredible human beings I’ve ever known. Our Adam Boy and Meggie need us to be on the same team, even if we don’t live under the same roof. Our grown children may have suffered a setback or two with the newness of this life. But I think they’re getting the hang of it.

I’ll continue to broaden and straddle that new horizon, every damn day that I have the good fortune to wake up. To make heart connections, and make new friends. Who knows, maybe someday with God’s good grace a new man will enter my life. One that will love me with all my brokenness. He’ll place his hand on the shattered pieces, making me stronger than I’ve ever been. I’ll hold his hand, and we’ll walk that horizon together.

Until then, I’ll enjoy the solitariness. And live. Maybe I’ll even go to London. In the springtime. I bet it’s lovely that time of year. I have to research a book. A tragic romance. About a young writer that falls for a drug addicted poet…….

The Juice of a Ripe Peach and Sunrise

It’s funny how even the simple act of eating a juicy peach makes her think of him. Each time she bites into the flesh, the juices release, travel from her fingers and down her arm.  She licks the sweet nectar. Thinks of his  kisses, and his tongue playing lovingly in her mouth.

It brings back the memory of  the treat of a sweet peach and coffee while watching the misty sunrise from their fire escape. He was wrapped in a top sheet and she, their blanket. The air was crisp and cool.  She sat next to him, her cup of coffee in one hand, and the peach in the other. As she bit into it, the juices ran down the palm of  her hand. She tried to lick them up, but wasn’t fast enough in her efforts. It even ran down her arm. He chuckled at her, and set his coffee down on the metal grate of the fire escape. He grabbed her hand, and  took a bite of the peach at the same time as she did. He leaned over, and licked the juices from her lips.

There they were, holding the same peach, the nectar co-mingling on their chins, hands and arms. She kissed his fingers and licked them. He did the same to her. She giggled as she sat back and watch the devilish grin light up his entire face. They ate the rest of the peach, then threw the pit off the fire escape. She giggled again, and hoped it didn’t hit an innocent bystander on its way to the ground. He held her hand up to his mouth and sucked each finger with love and care. She sighed and he chuckled again.

She finally spoke and said, “Wait! I have to set my coffee cup down, or I’m going to spill it on the comforter.”

Her hands still sticky from peach juice, she held them under his chin and drew him in close for a deep kiss. He pulled the blanket down to her waist, wrapped his sheet around her, then held her close. He felt her warm breasts against his chest. She didn’t mind that his hands and arms were all sticky.  What’s better than a warm embrace and sweet, sticky kisses on a fire escape, at sunrise with the love of your life? Not one thing.

A Crisp November Morning

Crisp morning, November 15.

red-yellow sunrise, opening day of rifle season.

His gun, rests against the tree.

The Hunter stands with a Thermos of coffee.

Steam rises from it as he unscrews the lid.

He places the cup to his lips and drains it.

Places it back on the Thermos and sets it on the ground.

He is clad in blaze orange, quilted coveralls to hold in warmth on this brisk morning.

There is birdsong, and he sees an eagle take flight above the low lying mist.

He hears the call of wild turkeys in the distance.

The mist shrouds the dormant corn field and the lower branches of a tree.

There is movement.

And in the distance, the Hunter sees him.

The Buck.

His majestic head is lowered to the ground, eating leftover  husk.

The Hunter reaches for his rifle, still against the tree.

The Buck hears the sound of the hunter’s sleeves.

He raises his head, and the Hunter looks at him in wide wonder.

All eight points of his rack reach for the Heavens.

He resets the safety and lowers his weapon.

The deer nibbles on the husk still in his mouth, and watches the Hunter.

The Hunter watches the Hunted.

There comes a snap of twig, birds take flight in the rising sun and the Buck leaps into the mist.

The Hunter grabs his Thermos of coffee, refills his cup and waits.

Sunrise, Coffee, and Sanctuary

With each sunrise we start anew

Vanessa sits on her porch in the stillness of the morning. She sees the sun coming up through the maple tree in the back yard. Her coffee is next to her. Filled to the brim with dark roast, real creamer, and a drizzle of caramel sauce. She’s reading. One of her go to books of the summer. It’s set in the South of course. She thinks she was a debutante in a former life. She’s always been drawn to those types of books. Romance, in the South. Life, in the South. Even with the bigotry, she still feels drawn there.

She sets her book down on the table next to her. And watches the sun ascend and become brighter. Its color changing from dark orange to a warm yellow, like the color of an egg yolk. It’s like she hears it. It sizzles, cracks and pops. Like a campfire that is only embers, and the wood splits with the intense heat of it.

Vanessa looks to the right and sees the swimming hole n the side yard. It’s one of the reasons that she and Liam picked this place to live. To love. The sun’s rays cause a reflection on the water in the morning light. She thinks of him, and smiles. She left him sleeping, so she could read, and watch the sunrise. It’s been a busy few days for them. They’re finally together, in the same place. No more running back and forth from place to place.

They have their sanctuary, in the middle of nowhere. It’s just them. Finally. No need for commitment. Or wedding rings. There’s just bliss. They get to, just be. The sun is higher in the sky. The flies and bees begin to buzz around her. Vanessa doesn’t care though. She picks up her coffee mug and takes a huge drink. It’s cold, but the caramel still tastes fantastic!

She rises from her chair and descends the three concrete steps of the wraparound porch. She makes a right and heads to the swimming hole. She starts taking off her clothes as she walks to the waters edge. Her tank shirt is the first to go. She just leaves it in the grass. Next go her sleep pants. Again, in the grass. When she gets to the waters edge, she takes off her boys shorts and flings them off her fingers. She jumps head first in the water.

As Vanessa resurfaces, shakes her head and opens her eyes. She sees Liam standing on the shore. He’s the love of her life. He’s naked of course. He’s always naked. And he’s smiling. Actually he’s laughing. He always laughs when he’s with his silly girl. He jumps in the water and swims up to her. They wrap their arms around each other, kiss passionately and smile. She blushes. For some reason he still makes her blush.

She says to him, My God you are perfect. This is perfect. He says, Honey I’m far from perfect. I’ll settle for decent. She says, Okay we are not perfect, we are decent. But this life, this life will be perfect. He says to her, I think we finally got it right.

They hold each other in the water. Their bodies entwined and shivering in the morning light. They look around at their sanctuary and then descend below the surface to share a kiss.